Free Falling

Have you ever laid on the grass on a clear summer night (in some place with minimal light pollution), and felt the vertigo of falling into the vast sea of stars above you?  Often falling in my dreams feels like this as well, as if I'm falling into the sky, a never-ending chasm with no end and no beginning.  In the popular Federico Fellini quote, There is no end. There is no beginning. There is only the infinite passion of life.

The cycles of life are like this, the cycles of time are like this.  The transitions from one stage to another, the mutable promise of the future, and the midwifery of the Crone all resemble this free fall.  Time stands still, here in the event horizon, or does it?

Two years ago, Helios told me to jump into off a cliff in faith, and releasing the fear of the fall.  That same year Cernunnos told me to speak for the Goddess and put the Gods in their place.  Last year, Hecate told me to dive into my destiny and feed my fear to her hounds.  Brigid told me this year that I am a sky arrow and that through my movements in the world, that the Gods be exalted.  Then the Morrigan told me that I must plunge into the dark depths of practice and have a greater blood thirst, a greater thirst for life.  To plunge into the dark depths of mystery and transformation is to be taken into the Goddess' cauldron of transformation to be changed, mutated, and reborn.  



For a Capricorn, I love the safety of structure.  I also hem myself in through an extreme devotion to hierarchical structure and an unbalanced compliance to authority figures that borders on blind obedience.  The scariest thing for me is not know where I fit in the scheme of things, the borders, limits, edges.  So of course, this is exactly what I had to experience for my next stage in personal transformation.  Because of this, I left the Tradition I have basically grown up in, and am on my own.  I am not drowning though, I am floating--free falling.   

Of course the crux of the matter is that everyone is a solitary who walks the path alone.  Whether in a coven, grove, or wooded glade, we engage the Gods directly, and the experience is internally driven and received.  Life is lonely, space is lonely, and everything is a part of all cycles, mixed into the changes together.

Within myself and my practice, I am the vessel for the Goddess.  My home, my practice are the Morrigan's Cauldron.  Through devotional practice, may the Old Ones be exalted, their Temples tended, and their cults spread on this earth.