Sunday, September 19, 2010

Thursday, September 16, 2010

the center of the universe

Sometimes after magickal work I find myself entering a different dream state when I go to sleep. Last night everything felt quiet, settled, and flowing when I went to bed. Last night, as I was getting ready for sleep, Craig was looking for his keys. I told him sarcastically that he must call for his keys in Egyptian, Atu and the key will be revealed. Quite pleased with my bout of evening wit, I proceeded to do my best "evil magician" laugh and immediately fell dead asleep.

Before that I had been thinking about making my solar plexus both brighter and stiller. I had been talking in class about invoking Litha into SADD induced dark places of winter. I figured I could also invoke the still of the sun in all its power and glory into my center. Normally I connect to the Sun as movement, power, Will, and empowered movement. Today, though, in the peace of this autumn morning, there is no movement, no noise... I am holding onto my dreamscapes today. May the universe orbit around the bright stillness at my burning core.

Last night I had a moment in a dream so real that I wonder if it will be the most real thing I experience today. It was so real, I startled myself awake. So, I leave you with my favorite band ( Think I was actually at this performance), performing "I live on what's Left". This song is a bit of a personal anthem and it tends to change its meaning based on where you are when you come to it---both sides of the staircase of the underworld.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Trompin' around the underworld

I must admit that the last almost 2 years of transits of Pluto conjunct my natal sun has been certainly a trial, but an informative and transformative trial at that. I am on the 4th and final round of this once-in-a-lifetime transit. This time it is less forceful and I have grown to recognize how it feels in my body, in my life, in my interactions. How are my reactions right now? I'm tired. I have grown weary of Pluto right now. I am not controlled or buried by it at this point, I am just tired. I feel like an overworked mule.

The good news is that I have only 2 weeks of it left. Pluto makes things come to light that usually stays hidden, similar to a really big pimple on the tip of your nose. You look in the mirror, "Oh, THAT again". There comes a point where you want to look at the whole picture with acceptance rather than be constantly reminded of insignificant, but sore flaws. I know in two weeks I'll have that break that relief from this trial period, but for now, I feel like Shrek's onion, pretty peeled down to the core. But hey, underworld Goddesses speak very clearly down here.

So where will I be after this is over? more whole, less consumed by illusions, more stable, more the true me. During the past couple of weeks I've been shadow boxing; literally and figuratively. Shadow boxing is a martial arts technique where you fight your imagined double, or a mirror opponent. Just as I did when I started the dao, the fight is mainly in your head, with your own shadows.
I pray at the end of this pressure, I will find peace. There are no external opponents, and therefore I should find peace within myself. May there be rest in the dreamtime. May I be whole. I honor you Pluto, I appreciate your lessons. Persephone, your unending grace be ever with me. I look forward to October, to peace, to quiet, to freedom, and to grace.

And into Hecate's arms.
*photo from