Walking the Journey

Isn’t it funny how sometimes the simplest message or phrase sticks with you for the rest of your life?  You never know what the source of such a kernel of truth may be nor exactly what simple truism might turn into a cornerstone of your spirituality.  About 5 or 6 years ago, I had one of those moments.  I was a a seidr, a Norse oracular ritual.  The seer told me this, “You don’t choose the river or the boat upon which you journey, but you do get to choose how you guide the boat and what tributaries, eddies, currents and course you take. “

 Today this means to me that you never lose your path.  You can never stop walking your path of destiny.  Every moment is an opportunity to learn, grow, and connect.  Each time you interact, you make a wake in the world.  You can’t take that wake back.  You can’t erase your words, your actions, your movements in the world.  Furthermore, my fortune cookie reminded me today “the personality is your destiny”.  We are born with our astrology set.  Our lessons and situations start at that moment.  We can’t change the stars, fate, or what circumstances we live from and with, but we can decide where we take it and how we react, or don’t react.

 I may change which direction I take on the path of my journey, but the journey never stops.  Wherever you go, you are there, and you are walking, one step at a time in the world.  Carry on.

Guest post on 365 Days of Tarot

The lovely professional tarot reader, Rebecca Brown has featured me as a guest blogger today on 365 Days of Tarot today on the my favorite Tarot Card, the Tower Trump! 

Please check it out!

April Brings Changes

I've been delving deeply into the dark corners of mine. Life has a way of throwing us curve balls, or as my High Priestess used to say, AFGO, (Another F#*%!& Growth Opportunity). Some refer to the realization of the growth moment that throws you off your horse, the spiritual Clue-by-Four, or a Dark Night of the Soul. I have decided to refer to the past 6 months of my life a breakthrough, because I couldn’t leave it ending as a breakdown. So, as is to be expected, I’ve made a lot of life changes for the foreseeable future.

First of all I have stepped down from my position as High Priestess of Order of the World Tree coven. I will be using this time to write a book, and nourish my personal work including magickal, spiritual, and health related projects, as well as do a lot of prayer and meditation. Basically I am getting back to the basics of home, family, and the Gods and creating happiness in those engagements.

I’m not falling off the face of the earth though! Many of my goals for my work ahead include staying plugged into the world and the people around me. I still have a few teaching engagements and will be available for readings and doing some blogging. I'll be featured before the end of the month at www.365daysoftarot.com as a guest Tarot blogger. I'll be blogging on the Tower card, one of my favs!

A couple of my friends have suggested that we could do a monthly book discussion group together too. If you’re interesting in joining us for this, let me know.

 

Below is my schedule for the next couple of months. 

 

Tarot Readings and Spiritual Counseling at Mystic Spirit most Sundays 1-5 and by appointment on the phone or in person. $30 per 15 minutes Call 973-509-7155 for an appointment. Or just email me!

6/1 (5-8pm) Intro To Qabala class at Mystical Parlors,

17 Washington St, Norwalk, CT 06854. Phone:(203) 810-4491

6/28-6/30 I'm presenting at Woven Roots Festival, Brendan Byrne State Park, New Jersey

A 3 day Family Friendly Camping Event With Workshops, Kids Track, Music and Vendors.

 http://bit.ly/WovenrootsInc. https://sites.google.com/site/wovenrootsnj/home

7/28 (10am to 6pm) Women’s Spiritual Retreat, at my house in Hackensack NJ!

             Join me for a day of nurishing the soul, body, laughing, singing, and celebrating magickally the Goddess in all her forms.

8/24 (4-7pm) I'll be teaching Celtic Myth and Pagan Practiceat the Crystal Fox,

311 Main St Laurel, MD 20707, (301) 317-1980. $35

9/7 (5-8pm) The 27^thPath class at Mystical Parlors,

17 Washington St, Norwalk, CT 06854. Phone:(203) 810-4491 $35

10/25 to 10/27 I'm presenting at the Crucible Convention

Hotel Somerset-Bridgewater in Somerset, NJ. 110 Davidson Ave, Somerset, NJ 08873.

 Crucible is a large get-together of people, from a very wide variety of backgrounds, who are serious about the practice of magic(k), and want to have a good time.  http://www.crucibleconvention.com/

 

Other Events I will be attending

6/23 (1-5pm) Jupiter Lightning Glyphs by Jason Miller,

Hilton Garden Inn, 70 Challenger Rd, Ridgefield Park NJ 07660. $45.  RSVP to owt@sacredwheel.org

9/28 to 9/29 (10am to 6pm)Plant Spirit Familiars by Christopher Penczak,

Hilton Garden Inn, 70 Challenger Rd, Ridgefield Park NJ 07660. $145.  RSVP to owt@sacredwheel.org

Letting Go...

From my very first moments at birth I struggled for each breath.  I wanted to live with a burning desirous will that no one could ignore.  I would say that the first 15 years of my life were about the struggle to engage.  I had to engage my mind, engage the world around me and learn how to survive.  The next 15 years were about starting to connect with people; through words, touch, breath, and passion. 

Wheels within wheels

The last 2 years have been about releasing my death grip, releasing the external qualifiers, releasing my presuppositions on success.  Now I stand under the light of the Sun, gathering the courage to look up and no longer bow my head.  If I am able to let go what is needed, I will let go of my ego for the search for the union with the Divine.  When the light becomes blinding, then I will reach out into the blind darkness in faith and finally find, that letting go is flying.

The first cycle was one of worldly negotiation with people, meetings, trials, and the building of community.

The second cycle was an underworld journey of death, release, and reformation.  Once the bottom was finally reached, only then, could the next stage start.

The third stage is one of surrender and sacrifice.  It is a seemingly timeless journey outside the cycles of time and season.  Only along the path of the Mystic can the next door be opened.  This door is set hidden in the sky and can only be reached without your feet on solid ground.  This door is hidden within blinding light, which is the central heart of darkness.  My Lower Self gave me the key many years ago.  I give the key to my Higher Self, to turn it in the keyhole, and let God Herself open the door.

Sublimation

“Broke in my hand. 
This was never the plan. 
But I guess since it’s here,
I’ll stay strong where I stand. 
I'm falling apart
My name used to be grace
But now if you call me
Just call me misplaced
I feel with my core
No more with my hands
I see through a blindness
You don't understand
I reach for the quiet...
I live on what's left”.  – Ego Likeness

 Sometimes when everything this seems static and you seem trapped, you are not looking at the change that is needed in the appropriate way.  I came to such a point a couple of weeks ago.  At the pointed tail of winter, everything seemed to be made of the ragged, cold daggers of icicles.  The earth demanded change deep within and shuddered, causing all the ice that had formed on the bridges and windows of the world to shatter.  The depth of silence that followed was as if the Earth herself was holding her breath.  Rather than look at the broken pieces underfoot, I looked up into the sky and saw a raven headed toward my home.  You can push in one direction for change and find that you are pushing against a wall.  No matter how much you push, you won’t budge the stones that were set into their thick mortar. 

I had been given a message at Imbolc to exalt the Gods through my movement.  The Morrigan challenged me to delve into my practice in a way I had never done before, that I should be more blood thirsty and truly experience practice.

Everything then fell apart.  And in the depth of stillness, I found a voice.  That voice showed me that my next step for personal transformation was sublimation.  My normal fires of desires stilled, becoming more subtle and refined.  Through the practice and work that awaits me I sublime my practice.  The word sublime comes from the Latin root sublimare, to raise up, to exalt.  There again, my work will be that of exaltation, change, and deep transformation. 

 

 

 

 The path ahead of me is sure, and good.  I am embarking on a path of healing, prayer, and meditation.  I will be doing self-reflection, learning, review, and change.  I am looking forward to the work ahead in the moments of each passing now.  I don’t have goal markers or a map.  I do not have a timeline for the work ahead, but I know that it is one of deepening faith, compassion, change, growth, and connection with the Gods.  It is the Fool becoming the Magician.  It is the Hermit going away from the Tower.  It is Death leading the way to the Star.  May I be an empty cup holding each moment of Now for this new beginning.  May the time allow sublimation that leaves salt, sulphur, blood, and quintessence. 

Exalting the Gods

At Imbolc I received a message from Brigid that said “movement” and “exalted one”.  I found this to be a reminder of a building message I have been getting for 2 years now that is saying, that I am a priestess of the Pagan Gods in today’s world.  Through my actions and my words, I help further their work in the world.  This is the rebuilding of the temples of the Pagan Gods in the modern world. 

 Fault lines have shifted in my life over the past winter.  There have been avalanches and volcanoes and a total transformation of the landscape.  My husband and I are rebuilding our home; we have moved into a bigger house that includes a temple space, we are redefining boundaries for our family and home and how we do business as a family.  We are redefining roles with each other, both personal and in our official capacity as High Priestess and Priest in our coven. 

 I have been given more urgings to start working on building a following for Columbia, the Goddess of America.  This is be one of my ongoing works and projects and I will announce more about those plans as they are formed and come into fruition. 

I will continue to over devotional rituals to the Goddesses publically.  We need public ritual and direct interaction with Godforms so that we can have those sorely needed interactions that can guides be catalysts for such awesome transformation in our lives. 

I had the great experience of attending Pantheacon this year as well.  What an amazing event!  I got to meet a lot of people both ones that I have interacted with through friends and online as well as icons of the modern Pagan movement as well.  I also got to teach my Tarot Trump Priestesses – Five Fold Kiss class.  I am excited to be sharing this neat tool with people and am looking forward to teaching it again at Sacred Space in Laurel MD this weekend.  www.sacredspacefoundation.org.  I will also be offering my Brigid’s Lustral Fire ritual as well so that will be a rewarding interaction with deity as well. 

Speaking the words of the Goddesses is not a glib statement.  It means several things.   First of all, the utterances of our mouths carry power—the power to create and the power to destroy.  The idea that words have power is an old one, and also implies that within us is the power to change the world.  This power is not just our privilege, but our birthright, our duty, and our legacy. 

Today I took the exalting the Gods a bit further.  Through acting as their priestess, I do their work to change the world as well.  By making my work and my actions a sacred act, I am worshiping them.  It may not be through prayers at an altar, but can be through movement, one step at a time.  It can be through building gateways for their worship.  It can be through building their temples, one brick at a time.  Their temples must be built through technique, words, the sharing of practices and messages with one another, as well as actual statues and places of worship.  Those places can be a public circle, a ritual at a shop or festival, or permanent temple spaces. 

The Gods move in mysterious ways.  I want to be in that way and on that path to take advantage of the updraft of mystery, moving in the world.  At Mabon, my message was to be a sky arrow.  Through words, we set the intention, our aim at the target, through will and desire, we draw the bow, and finally, through the mystery of the Gods themselves, we are carried to the heavens.  I tend my own temple that my feathers guide me as an arrow, with a true path, of service to the Gods, and to my own God self, that our wills be served.  There is much work to do.

Carry on.

Love and Compassion

I’ve spent this winter rearranging how I think and speak in the world.  Most likely in the next few months, I will be blogging some reframed ideas. 

 At Lammas, I had an intimate experience with the Goddess Brigid.  She is the most compassionate, patient goddess who really does truly care, not just for the community but for the individual.  Her heart is huge.  While aspecting her for Lammas, I found that my heart was bursting open, overflowing with compassion as well as feeling the pain and struggles of the human condition.  She seemed very invested in making sure people did their work, progressed in their growth, and took up both the banner and yoke of caring for each other and the planet.  She made me feel that my heart was breaking.  I like to think that this is what a crustacean, bug, or snake feels when they crack open their shell or skin in order to grow bigger.  I burst into tears and felt pretty open and emotionally exhausted that night.  It took days to feel “normal”. 

At Between the Worlds conference in December, this same overflowing compassion returned, and added to it was a purity of purpose.  Amazing work was done, ritual was incredible, and new and deeper connections were made.  I felt alive and fully in my purpose.   The world seems more positive since then.  I would say that it was just my perspective of the world, but some of my dreaded visions of the future have been washed away.  The world seems relieved that the Mayan “end of the world” did not come to pass.  Or did it?  I hope for a new world in the years and generations to come. 

So, my word of the year is compassion.  I am attempting to deepen love and compassion, connection and empathy.  I find this gentle, flowing shift very uncomfortable and difficult.  Isn’t this lovey stuff supposed to be easy?  My normal mode is too cardinal and Saturnian for this to be an easy process.  I am deepening my personal practice, my spell craft, and the work with my current and future Gods. 

 Today, I found it easier to be positive.  Things are moving and shaping is some really good ways.  This article, http://www.theatlantic.com/sexes/archive/2013/01/theres-no-such-thing-as-everlasting-love-according-to-science/267199/?miaou, hit me really hard too.  It gave me yet another missing piece of how to interact and treat people in my life.  Friendly is not just a social moray and polite, but a way to actually add in every moment to the re-enchantment of the world.  Maybe this is obvious to most, but it hit me like a ton of bricks.  Please note that I live in Northern New Jersey as well, a very cutthroat harsh environment. 

Yesterday, I constructed an internal ally to use as a tool for interaction as well.  The image that came to me was not Jupiter, that I was aiming for, but Europa, one of Jupiter’s moons, one of his lovers.  All of this came to me from pure imagination rather than conscious guidance of the process.  The image I am working with is the sapphire queen.  Fittingly enough, I have paintings on my desk at work of personifications of the Moons of Jupiter.  Now, before I get sappy, blessed be!