Yesterday morning I read in True Love about caring for your anger as if you were a mother that takes it up in your arms to care for the emotion like a hurt or scared child. The idea of me taking control and nuturing my pain until it is transformed was worded in a way that hit me to the core.
I wasn't mindful in the evening. I found out there have been some noncompliance issues with my tenant of my rental home. On top of that, my realator has gone MIA because of some major legal issues. I realized that I may have to get a lawyer and Goddess forbid learn how to evict someone. All of that made me really upset. I also wound up in a situation beyond my control that messed up dinner and I was very hungry by the late time I got to eat. I reacted annoyed by that one too outwardly and perhaps a bit to venamently. My sore shoulder muscle decided to freeze from all of this internalized anger and stress.
I put a hot pad on it a couple times last night and even tried dialoging with the pain which helped me relax enough to fall back asleep. I'm taking as much advil as I can and at least my whole neck isn't frozen.My guts are a big mess today from the internalized stress. I am very tired as well.
I got an email from my mom this morning that a good friend of the family died on Monday. I'm going to his funeral tomorrow, so I'll be doing a lot of driving with this frozen shoulder. Ugh.
While I'm driving today I'm going to try dialoging with the pain again and see if I can't be more mindful and caring to it. Though growing up the answer would have been "deal" or "get over it" or "noone ever said life was easy", I love myself and will mother my pain so that it can be relieved and bloom into grace.