Lately anything I do for fun feels like an unreality. I have a feeling that a lot of this has to do with incompatible fields. I can't expect to be fully immersed in family health concerns and also be starting new relationships. You cannot harvest and plant at the same time. Part of this feeling comes from stepping into the mother role. I must bear the tension in my family and keep things together in a fixed modality. There is also a lot of change going on and many things are mutuable, in transition and flux as well as the fear and mystery of the unknown future. However, the cardinal push of the maiden is whole inappropriate for this time.
Yes, all things in balance an moderation. The is a solitary path unfolding in my life that is not completely related to my family. However, those pieces are subplots and have to be examined in context so as not to become retreats into delusional fantasy.
This pain has a purpose and it is not guilt, nor regret. It is the crone's syth harvesting at the end of the season. It is the bittersweet setting sun, the golden light, the spiced wine at harvest time.
Be gentle, be patient, mark the time. All in its due season.
No comments:
Post a Comment