Free Falling

Have you ever laid on the grass on a clear summer night (in some place with minimal light pollution), and felt the vertigo of falling into the vast sea of stars above you?  Often falling in my dreams feels like this as well, as if I'm falling into the sky, a never-ending chasm with no end and no beginning.  In the popular Federico Fellini quote, There is no end. There is no beginning. There is only the infinite passion of life.

The cycles of life are like this, the cycles of time are like this.  The transitions from one stage to another, the mutable promise of the future, and the midwifery of the Crone all resemble this free fall.  Time stands still, here in the event horizon, or does it?

Two years ago, Helios told me to jump into off a cliff in faith, and releasing the fear of the fall.  That same year Cernunnos told me to speak for the Goddess and put the Gods in their place.  Last year, Hecate told me to dive into my destiny and feed my fear to her hounds.  Brigid told me this year that I am a sky arrow and that through my movements in the world, that the Gods be exalted.  Then the Morrigan told me that I must plunge into the dark depths of practice and have a greater blood thirst, a greater thirst for life.  To plunge into the dark depths of mystery and transformation is to be taken into the Goddess' cauldron of transformation to be changed, mutated, and reborn.  



For a Capricorn, I love the safety of structure.  I also hem myself in through an extreme devotion to hierarchical structure and an unbalanced compliance to authority figures that borders on blind obedience.  The scariest thing for me is not know where I fit in the scheme of things, the borders, limits, edges.  So of course, this is exactly what I had to experience for my next stage in personal transformation.  Because of this, I left the Tradition I have basically grown up in, and am on my own.  I am not drowning though, I am floating--free falling.   

Of course the crux of the matter is that everyone is a solitary who walks the path alone.  Whether in a coven, grove, or wooded glade, we engage the Gods directly, and the experience is internally driven and received.  Life is lonely, space is lonely, and everything is a part of all cycles, mixed into the changes together.

Within myself and my practice, I am the vessel for the Goddess.  My home, my practice are the Morrigan's Cauldron.  Through devotional practice, may the Old Ones be exalted, their Temples tended, and their cults spread on this earth. 

Weaving the roots of the community

Today I am on my way to Brendan Byrne State Park to teach for Woven Roots Festival.  https://sites.google.com/site/wovenrootsnj/  This is an exciting little walk down memory lane as the first festival I went to was Mid Atlantic Pagan Alliance Beltane at the same park in 2005.  This is also when and where I first saw Craig Setti, who was to marry me 5 years later.  Who knew?

Hope to see you there! 

Blessed be.

We are all Messengers from the Gods

1.  I am doing a lot of work right now with the thoughtforms and protectors of this country.  Liberty, Justice, and mores specifically, Columbia.  This is a great personification of the first 2, and I had to share.  Yay for the Justice System doing it's duty!

2.  People come into our lives--the right ones at the right time.  I have a new friend at work, and she is spiritual and very faithful.  She's also an artist.  She came up to me and in the way she wanted to relay a few stories to me, it gave me a new perspective on some things I've been struggling with.  She was the outside verification, that was unasked for.  She said her piece about something she feels very strongly about, something I used to feel very strongly about.  Her passion reminded me and I feel much clearer with the steps to move forward for myself now too.

She was a messenger from the Goddess.  She had just the right thing to say that I needed to hear.  Furthermore, she is the replacement to my other work friend months ago.  I cried when I found out that friend had been let go, and yet, this new friend will lead to a much deeper friend, and we will help each other on our paths.

3.  No matter what situation you find yourself in, deciding what to do is so much more important than fear and shame.  The little bubbles we live in that we call "normal" are just a facade.  Under that we are all trying to survive this live as part of the cycle and part of nature.  Everything is impermanent and the more we hold onto what we think will not change, the more pain we will experience.  We are so blinded by our patterns and cultural perspectives.  Anything we can do to open to the wild variety of life will make us more human.

Blessed be.