We think about crises as moments in our lives where we are consumed with undue stress and turmoil. The first definition of a crisis, however is a crucial or decisive point or situation; a turning point. What is required for something to be called a crisis? Change. You haven't seen the end of something unless the cycle ends. Did you bring about the change? Did forces prod you to become aware of how badly change is needed. Did you cross a threshold where there was no turning back to the old ways?
Last night I didn't sleep hardly any at all. I kept running through scenarios of change and options for leaving major portions of my life behind. Considering that I almost never have sleepless nights, you might call this a moment of opportunity or stress leaking into time I leave for my subconscious.
As I mentioned in http://lettinggoisflying.blogspot.com/2009/12/integration-of-parts-of-self.html, my subconscious has been screaming for me to listen, trust, and make change. I've made several large steps to try to turn around my personal boat to make change and head in new headings. It seems that my subconscious does not feel that the change is fast enough. Does it wish for me to dive out of the boat and swim within the waters of life itself? Quite possibly. Entrepreneurs, creative types, those that made big changes in their lives often get to a crisis moment where the status quo or small changes are no longer enough. What is the magick ingredient that makes the big risks worth it? That was the carpe diem call to arms urging me on for most of the night. Jump, dive, let go--go for it!!!
Yet today, I was awake, alert, and productive. The rawness and restlessness of the night before seemed to be tucked away safely in dreamland... until it resurfaces from the dark depths again.
To be continued...
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