Each breath- a fleeting moment

I remember a bright spring day.  I was the embodiment of the Maiden, the golden sky arrow of cardinal energy bursting forth.   I called to the Horned God in all the fervor I could muster.  He came in the animal form, full of blood, sex, and death.   Hooved boots stomped on delicate spring narcissuses and I quivered in my youthful polarity of desire.

The moment of intoxicating nectar, ephemeral heady scent, snuffed out deliberately.  The God had made his point of the sacrifice, fleeting beauty in the moment, and the inveitabilty of death's embrace.  Absolutes are so precious and resource intensive.   Even in this form, jasmine, honeysuckle, lotus, daffodil, and rose are not captured in their pure form, but only a portion of their being can be stored in bottles.  

We never capture anything.  We own nothing.  Each moment is fleeting, precious, and unique.   Only change is constant.  

A debate I got into this year was on the nature of love.  It was posited to me that love causes pain, wars, suffering and destruction.  To me, higher love, divine love is giving, not grasping, joyful, and does not make demands.   To make demands is to cage an object of one's attention, not to tend a flower into blooming.  To me, destructive love is ownership, imprisionment, anger, fear, obsession, envy, jealousy.  This is not love, but the crushing of ephemeral beauty. 

People are not flowers, even though I may have likened the experience of love to one.   People are bulbs, seeds, acorns, if you will.  Whether we become bonsais, saplings, or great grandmother trees, is part of how we reach town the sun each day, drink in the rain, whether it be drizzle or blizzard, listen to the wind, and feel within the dark for ever stronger roots.

Focus on breath

Could it be that there are times in our lives when there is nothing to say?  One waits and watches the new scene unfold?  

I am journaling privately, but in my caccoon time, I don't know what I should share nor how to share it. 

I am doing work, much of it mundane, but working much more on staying in the now, and being grateful. There is so much abundance that I keep catching myself saying "thank you.  I love you."  I don't know why I say it or to whom I'm addressing. This abundance richly hues my life in such a contrast to the monotone darkness of pain and suffering I left last year that time is wearing down the scars.  The tears are over and a rest, peacefully each day in the joyful sun.