Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Pain, Stress and Anger

Yesterday morning I read in True Love about caring for your anger as if you were a mother that takes it up in your arms to care for the emotion like a hurt or scared child. The idea of me taking control and nuturing my pain until it is transformed was worded in a way that hit me to the core.
I wasn't mindful in the evening. I found out there have been some noncompliance issues with my tenant of my rental home. On top of that, my realator has gone MIA because of some major legal issues. I realized that I may have to get a lawyer and Goddess forbid learn how to evict someone. All of that made me really upset. I also wound up in a situation beyond my control that messed up dinner and I was very hungry by the late time I got to eat. I reacted annoyed by that one too outwardly and perhaps a bit to venamently. My sore shoulder muscle decided to freeze from all of this internalized anger and stress.
I put a hot pad on it a couple times last night and even tried dialoging with the pain which helped me relax enough to fall back asleep. I'm taking as much advil as I can and at least my whole neck isn't frozen.My guts are a big mess today from the internalized stress. I am very tired as well.
I got an email from my mom this morning that a good friend of the family died on Monday. I'm going to his funeral tomorrow, so I'll be doing a lot of driving with this frozen shoulder. Ugh.
While I'm driving today I'm going to try dialoging with the pain again and see if I can't be more mindful and caring to it. Though growing up the answer would have been "deal" or "get over it" or "noone ever said life was easy", I love myself and will mother my pain so that it can be relieved and bloom into grace.


  1. While you're dialoging with your pain, you might want to reflect on what past hurt all this might have stirred up. It could be something completely unrelated to the events.

    When you're free to do so (don't attempt this while driving to Maryland), meditate on this and see what comes up.

  2. Actually I wasn't supposed to be focusing on the pain at all. It was a lack or need for love and connection. A friend of mine helped me create love in the spot and the pain completely eased. After all this time, I have the solution. I couldn't be happier!