Friday, May 11, 2012
And now in the darkness I wait for the dawn.
It seems that Pluto always has some other challenge for me. On a Path where I asked for accelerated growth, evolution, and change, I find that the dust has barely settled from one challenge before the next is upon me. In a way, a lot of this is because once level of change begets another. Leaving one stage behind, implies the foresight and challenges of the next stage. Yet, one wouldn’t have reached the landing without having the ability to develop and hone the tools necessary to function at that level. At Beltane, the Scorpio moon gifted me with a ton of support of a great group of people, still in the process of crystalizing around me. I found that the depth of support and community that was growing in my harbor was much more than I had before relied upon. I was comforted by my comrades that they don’t expect me to be superhuman nor bigger than life. Last year’s process of trials and hardships and foundation building is starting to pay off. I look to the rest of the year and to many years beyond of a Great Work built upon a strong foundation of diligence, discipline, and Tradition.
At the moment I have a break from the stress of Pluto’s harsh engagement. I am learning to more consciously trust my intuition. It’s usually right, even when everyone is scowling at me. I am also learning a lesson about faith and belief and how core those tenants are to the continued health of the practitioner along the Path.
I’m sure there are many posts to follow about faith and belief. It’s something I’ve never had a problem with but something that I should elaborate on as I see the struggles others have with belief. Last night I watched an episode of Once Upon a Time, a TV show about storybook characters that my husband and I have been enjoying. Pinocchio says to the heroine, “Denial is so strong in you that you refuse to see the truth, even when it’s right in front of you!” The amount of force and power we allow ourselves is dependent on the extent to which we believe in ourselves and our right and ability to make changes in the world. I say often to people that most of the limits in our lives are based on the self-imposed ones we force upon ourselves. Most of the time people just stare at me blankly in response. I assume that they are going through the internal rebuttal of “but, you don’t understand, I can’t, but, but, but!”
The day you spend more time on the baby steps of progress that you can do and not on the excuses, limitations, and negative self-talk, is the day the door to the staircase of power, evolution, and gnosis will open.
Or as the trainer at Crossfit ACT said yesterday, “ignore it [the discomfort] and just keep going!” Right, I knew that! My will was gone, but I had a heck of a lot of people encouraging me and got me through it when I thought I couldn’t. Yesterday my soul got stronger. Will yours today?